I don’t know when I’ll be myself again
To step to the limelight of life without fear
My path chosen a decade ago
With no intention of remission
Sold my twinkle little star to my sister
She holds it high like a trophy
In her eyes there is no remorse
All these meds I must swallow
It’s not a shame to cry over pain
The man next to me is a moron
Good enough to pay my insurance
He was once known as soul mate
Now he’s a shadow of doubts
I search for life with steroids and needles
Fingertips bleed uncertainty
There is silence in my dreams
Tears when the world is cruelly awake
Soundbites tangled with apologies
I search for answers at the sight of sunset
Surrender as my little star turns to dust
Lost is the comfort I yearn
Lost is this comfort
© 2008 by Cathy Delaleu
Art by Etsy.com

UNDISPUTED

I’m afraid of the dark
That’s when Daddy left
His dusty shoes in the foyer along with his favorite shirt
The wrinkled one soaked with mother’s tears
I managed to wash it with poetry
Mother says I need to stop dreaming
Daddy will never come back
He has no time now that he has 2 other boys to care for
I plan my escape with a backpack of goodies
Daddy’s shoes will take me to him
Take me to the place he chose as solace
Mother sleeps with books besides her
Counts pages of “I love you’s” like lottery tickets
No one will ever know how she stole those books
from my father’s side of the mattress
He was North of Haiti
She was South of Brooklyn
I found him in sunny Florida catching a tan with another woman
Mother swears the man I saw wasn’t my father
He is much lighter
More handsome in person
She identifies him as wasted fury of what could have been
Sniff his scent under her black dress
Obviously the wrinkled shirt cinched around her breasts
Is a reminder of his moonlight
The one he piled in Jacmel
Years before the slow-moving hurricane
I want this old man to come back
Retrace his steps to what he once knew as
home
©2008 by Cathy Delaleu
art by Karen Cougan