I couldn't sleep last night, I ended up falling asleep at 2:00 a.m. First I must thank my niece, she was the one who while we were watching movies in the basement kept saying to me that she hears noise coming from upstairs. My sister lives in a 3-story house, so with them being out of town and me babysitting it has been an interesting experience.
I arrived in Ohio on Thursday night. I didn't think I was going to make it there alive. The turbulence in the plane from NY was ridiculous. I saw my life coming to an end when the plane tried to make it through rough weather. It was storming severly in Ohio, I couldn't believe it when the captain landed. I was so shaken yet I wanted to kiss the ground. It was the worse turbulence I had ever experienced. I thought about my daughter, about how I didn't say goodbye to her. I thought about the last conversation I had with my sister, my closest best friend, and also my mom who called me a few days after my birthday. But then again I started to think I lived a good enough life so if it ended this way with me crashing in a plane it shouldn't upset me.
Would I prefer to die this way? No, actually in order for me to welcome death in a plane crash I would rather have it noise proof, without the panic and screams of any passengers. If there was some jazz music playing in my ears while the plane dissapeared amidts the storm then I think I would be cool...but that wasn't the case when I sat there huddled on my chair and with eyes closed tight and legs shaking. All I heard was screams from the passengers and the pilot telling them to calm down and to fastened their seatbelts. When I made it, a friend of mine asked me a question which made me ponder. He asked if I prayed. "Did you pray when you felt the plane going down?"
Then I realized. No. I didn't. Sad but true. I should know better because I always say to myself that I need to go back to God, I need his food back in my life but I fear his disappointment in me. I fear he might turn his back away from me.
I was thinking for my last supper on earth I would want a huge slice of Junior's cheesecake and a tall glass of soy milk, weird, huh?
Also one last grand bal party should be thrown in my honor and my sister and I would dressed up for the occassion. I thought about the picture here (top right) to display our attire. For me to die with class, to die with stilettos, Jimmy Choos to be exact.
Meanwhile since it wasn't yet my time to leave this earth, I will live it like it's my last day. I will smile more, laugh harder, lover harder and pray...yes...I will start praying today.
Lyrics, poetry and art all meshed together