Keep on reading
Keep on writing
Keep on inspiring
Keep on dreaming
Then...
Wake up from your dream
To make it happen
Stuff your brain with fresh positive food
Keep on creating
Over
and
Over
and
Over

I know I am not forgotten for I've been blessed over and over with a better health, good friends and laughter that keeps me going on a daily basis. Not to mention my art and poetry. I'm not able to stop drawing, painting and get very excited when I see colors. I love the blend of colors on canvas or in journals. I am loving life without complaint or negativity. Why have negativity when you can enjoy the simplest things in life?

By the way, if you're interested in purchasing some art, check out my art blog:

My latest work of art, I give you "Organic Love". You can fit earrings or rings in there and it's made with moss on bottom. Very cute :) Have a goodnight, will be in creative boost again tomorrow.

I need to get back to my roots with painting and writing. Rewind and move forward is the best medicine for the soul. I also want to share with others and to remind myself that although I've tripped and fallen, it's ok to get up slowly and dust off the negativity in my life. So, here I am again, to share with you all. I miss blogging and I miss a lot of things that used to excite me. I've decided to look back and start over. Now I found myself smiling and feeling the sunrays on my face.

Her visual was flawless
She was every little girl’s dream
But I didn’t understand why she couldn’t be fed
Her stiffness was a mystery
I needed to hear how she felt
What she felt
She was too skinny
So with a needle I slashed open her lips
She was finally free
I stuffed some rice and beans inside her mouth
Her head grew bigger with all that food
She was no longer a beautiful Barbie
At least I can feed her

Hello blogger friends,
I know it's been ages. It's wonderful to see you around inspiring us with your art and poetry, although I am aware that most of you are in Facebook. If you'd like to keep in touch that way please send me your name in Facebook where I often post my poems and art. Thanks for the inspiration and I've posted below my latest art and poetry for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!


Naked Aggression

It is a struggle
To try to ignore those words
To stuff them in her closet for another decade
She is followed by this aggression
Emotions attached to her spine like summer
She is meant to embrace them intentionally
Her secret sword is her heart
Connected to his loins
Where she is guaranteed a soft spot
He is historically accurate
By her mass weapon
This naked aggression of love hangs between her thighs
Without explanation
She summarize her naked aggression
In silence
(c)2011 by Cathy Delaleu

Bruised Addiction

Dark
Shadow carved by swollen fingers
There must be a reason why his arrogance is a steady blade
A punctured wound to the spine
His dramas are memorized sweetly
Dents in my jaw line
I have rear-ended my heart to him
The perfect cartilage of a man
In my bruised eyes
He can do no wrong
No matter how hurtful
His words hold me hostage

I claim he is my cosmic warrior
Skips and hops all over my field of dreams
Traditional with the profanity of his lips

Yet I see divinity
I see longevity
I see dignity
I don’t look in the mirror
Afraid to view the lies
To feel the stings
The cuts from this King
My King

By the end of the day
We are “one”
I will come up with a name
Suitable to place on his bumper sticker
Maybe written “athletic hero” or “King Mufasa”
His blistering heat leaves me with serious sunburns
He was taught the way to a woman’s heart is with the use of his fist
I changed my status to “abused female”
My silent cry to family and friends
Afraid to let his own mother know
My funeral has come and gone
Her son is a serial killer
I’m his daily cold case
He wraps around my throat emotionally
Leaving me for dead
With controversial kisses
As angry as a powerful storm tonguing me to the ground
He wants me to remain there
With all his debris
Waxed on my flesh
Repeatedly with symptoms
Addicted to the way
He loves me
He loves me
He loves me
Not
© 2010 by Cathy Delaleu

My thoughts in my daily journal


Hope you all had a great weekend. The heat in AZ is to die for, literally. I stay in most of the weekends unless I need to go food shopping or head to the librairy. Yeah, I know, you're probably thinking "the boring life", but that's what I call relaxation.
First let me give you an update, i'm sure you're dieing to know what's been going on with me. I've been apartment searching, to me that's always fun, apartments here are so cheap and you get a lot for your money, my lease will be up in 3 months so I can't wait to fly high to a bigger and better place to call home.
On Saturday, she went to work until 4pm and I was at her place watching movies and chilling with her daughter, when she got home she suggested we go for a stroll in Prospect Park and we also stopped by the Brooklyn Librairy which is nearby. It was a hot day but it felt great being out feeling the nice breeze at the park and many people were barbequeing. I took some pics with my new digital camera but I have to figure out how to download them to my blog.

Moving is alwways a lot of work but i'm anticipating it with joy and excitement. Lately, I've been writing a lot of new poems and have been interviewed on Blogtalkradio.com about two of my upcoming books, I will keep you all posted.


My apartment right now is a matchbox, you can imagine living in a box when it's over 100 degrees outside, I do have air conditioner but it's so loud when you turn it on, and I hate noise. I shouldn't complain, cause at least I have a roof under my head :)

My latest work has been with the use of acrylic and watercolor, i'm trying to lean more towards mixed media to bring some excitement to my artwork, I will of course post them when i'm done...








THE TAKE OFF



On bended knee Bocelli sings me Amore
While a plane lands on the highway
Cars speed us by blowing their congratulatory horns
His pleading words infuses a sadness
Mellow verses becomes philosophical
I am a frozen statue in a white organza
A mermaid with satin tears
The soft fabric flowing on my face gains public recognition
Paparazzi shouts out my name
I ignore the screams
The plane takes off in five minutes
I need to decide whether to board without his duet
Bocelli illustrates emotions throwing confetti rose petals
on my chapel length train
The 405 south consist of several traffic jams
“You won’t be back,” he yells
So I answer, “How deep is your devotion to me?”
He doesn’t reply
No point in telling him it’s too late
I march down the First Class aisle
Bouquet of black tulips kissing my hands
Amore
Amore is left standing
I watch from my window seat
the congested crowd follows him to Sicily
I get carried to another proposal
©2010 by Cathy Delaleu

Hello Blogger World...





I haven't written a Gratitude list in a long time, so here goes:

Grateful for:

1. PASSION…God instilled passion in all of us and we’re the ones who decide whether we’ll share it with others or not, I chose to share :o) it’s a beautiful thing when you're passionate about life

2. LAUGHTER…I've had those moments in my life where I felt the sadness will never end, but conversations with my sister on the phone, she always seems to find a way to make me bubble with laughter, also my brother, it's therapeutic chatting with him and with friends

3. BURGER: Believe it or not, I haven't had a burger in 3 years, so I treated myself to In n Out Burger, I had the cheeseburge with grilled onions, it felt like a dream when I took a bite of it...before you know it, it disappeared off my hands.

4. PAINTING…I took a long break, got inspired to start over and I am enjoying it, I forgot though how expensive it could get when you purchase all these supplies. I did have a lot of leftover paint in my closet but some had to be re-stocked

5. BIRDS: They wake me every morning, I love the sound of nature, puts a smile on my face

6. PARIS: My blogger friend, Paris Parfait, for having the ability to take me to Paris whenever I stop by her world…seriously if you check out her blog you’ll be amazed at her European pictures. She has a great eye for photography; her treasured blog is worth browsing (http://parisparfait.typepad.com/)



EXPERIMENTATION



She will only show you what she’s willing to tell
Every part of her shell is a segment of confessional intimacy
The spool thread of her eyes is a meditative mist
Of secrets passed between solitude and separation
She is a diaphanous frame of special circumstances
A glass lantern of icicle tears
Don’t make attempts to love her
She can’t promise you her heart
It’s hard to lie on
Easy to use
Impossible to clean
© 2010 by Cathy Delaleu

I was asleep on a dirt road until a warm wind greeted me on the cheek
The wind was heard chanting my name in Creole
“Wake up,” a voice said
I rubbed my eyes, yawned
My throat felt dry, lacking liquid
Tongue tasted like chalk
I looked around; palm trees were staring down at me curiously
The moonlight had its back turned, barely offering any shadows
Fireflies quietly were glowing their confessions
I could hear crickets like a serenading chorus
My long legs were caked by dust and dirt; my toes were painted in fluorescent green
“Where am I?” I asked the wind
“You’ve been asleep for seven years, you’re home”
I slept for so long I wasn’t tired
This burst of energy gave me the urge to twirl around and shout out my name
But there was silence, like death it gave me goose bumps
Then footsteps were heard, shaking the earth
It sounded like a whole village was hunting for me in the dark
“Here she is,” a heavy-bellied woman in a black scarf said, feasting her eyes at me
“She looks different,” a lean and tall man mumbled, he had missing teeth
“America made her weak,” another woman observed
“You’re old enough to join us now in the river,” the woman in the black scarf let out
“What river?” I asked
She pulled me by the arm, “Let’s go.”
I followed them
We were marching like soldiers
My legs strong enough to run if I had to
It felt like a century had gone by, and we were still walking
We wandered many villages, no one stopped to look at us
How strange, only the dogs, cats, chickens, pigs and donkeys reacted to our presence
When we finally arrived at the river, my hair had turned gray
throat was no longer dry
I touched my face and it was pleated with wrinkles
To my surprise men and women were in the river bathing in their clothes
All wore black
cheering and dancing fervently in the water like children
There was a full moon in the sky and drums vibrated in the air
“What are you waiting for? Get in the water,” one woman shouted at me
I dipped my big toe in
immediately felt the frigidness
With a grimace and curled lips I stepped back
The river was asking me riddles only an elder can answer but I declined
Suddenly, the big-bellied woman with the black scarf was laughing at me
Except now she was a young girl
she had to be at least eight years old
Was I hallucinating?
I rubbed my eyes for emphasis
all the men and woman in the river were kids
“Get in the water,” a voice shouted behind me
I turned around and it was a young boy wearing a black tattered shirt with a pipe in his mouth
“No,” I yelled back
He pushed me
I fell backwards with a scream
Body splashed in the iced cold water
I was shaking, panicking and cursing the boy out
Everyone had stopped dancing
they froze, watching me
Waiting for a transformation to occur
But nothing happened…
Instead, I was an old woman soaked in cold water
“America aged her too fast,” said the young boy with the pipe in his mouth
(c)2010 by C. Delaleu

MAKE IT KNOWN
Make it known to society that poetry is the conjugation of hope
We gotta go there to spark your interest
And your parents will wonder where it came from
Did it start from infancy?
Why are you drawn to words like crack?
Your trails of verses make them nervous
They truly believe it will ruin their reputation
And their friends’ reputation
This is our healing process
We lay dreams on sheets of paper to heal the heart
Inch by inch
We go back to collect empty shells of memories
To promote
Make it known
Unapologetically who we are
Make it known we battle emotions
for a reason
Make it known
We are poets
For life
©C. Delaleu2010

It was a slow week for me, the weekend is dragging with a warm 70 degrees sun so i'm grateful...what i'm truly enjoying today is watching the Food Network and writing poetry, what more can I ask for?

Hello Blogworld

A lot has happened since my last post, been in and out of the hospital, writing poetry, painting and drawing. Also got myself a new laptop which is great, it's much faster and now i'll be posting more pics and more poems. Thanks to all of you, prayers were heard and I feel so blessed. More poetry and short stories will be coming your way...


I
You want romance with sweetest taboo
I can’t provide such episode with your eyes alone
Or with lyrics and beats
We can only crawl together towards reality
Create messages with words
Words bring out the sunlight and heartache
Give me your heart
I will give you a future
A future with heartache attached on a string

II

Friends warn me about men like you
They say don’t daydream of your poetic words
I pull out the tiara off my short fuzzy hair to wake up to reality
I’m too hopeless
I am a dreamer of chocolate roses
tulips and butterflies
Your smile spreads smoothly on my sheets
You don’t touch yet still I can feel you admiring me
I am your goddess

III

Here comes your moon again glowing my way
I ignore the signs
Cross the streets and avenues in my white dress
Pretend I was your meal last night
The one you digested with such ease
Then you had that last glass of Merlot
Sang loud enough for your neighbors to hear
Last night I claimed your heart as if you won me
You own me
But I don’t belong to you
I never agreed to share your table
Never agreed to give you my heart
To give you my love
I left you drunk with tears
“My goodness, how dare you?” you screamed
I walk away cause’ it’s easier not to show I care
Easier not to love
Easier to tap dance with romance with notes
@2/2010

TWAL ZWAZO (silk bird)
(tale of a Haitian woman)

Her space
The settlement of rusted flesh
A sense of isolation
Lamentation in her accordion dream
A female ventriloquist in a state of longing
Collaboration gelled in her empty eyes
Empty heart
Empty soul
Buried climax
Head wrapped with recitation
Knotted by horsehair with fish bones
Underskinned fighting for courage
Crucified by sleep without rest
Politics urinating blood
Leave streaks of revolt
Chained by poverty
With lack of literacy
She wants to be set free
From instability
Free from coup d’etat’s whips
Free from the ruckus
Those drop spits from the elite
Their legacy migrates seasons of drought
On eye sockets nestled in pus
No water to irrigate the peasants
My ancestors descended from Jeremie
Down the tiny hill of Rozeau
The village town where women eat mud with their toes
And men pour their wounds on Haiti’s soil
You will find her there
Sheltered in her carnivorous bones soft like manioc
Hairless with her virus
She will question you with a Mardi gras smile
Who are you?
What can you do to help your our people?
Take note
Grab a tape recorder
Her story she wants to be heard
Hurry before she flies away with Diaspora wings
Before she reaches the skies with claws of her spine
There is no rainfall in her coffin
No vegetation
The rivers have dried out
The scent of bones is present
©2010 by C. Delaleu

MORNING BIRTH

At the sight of your love
I have summoned the skies to crack open
Its windows and pour a free verse of rain
White doves flutter sweetly like the song in your eyes
I understand how it’s possible for the heart
To speak in tongues when the morning mist
Covers more than a 100000 acres of handwritten deliverance
©2009 by Cathy Delaleu(PUBLISHED IN ESSENCE MAGAZINE IN 2006)

The last time I fell in love was on top of a sunset
I left you in Fort Green diluting your emotions in
A jar of shea butter
You’re shirtless again
Ebony tinted skin polished with beauty
I see this magical landscape
It makes me want to die in your arms
Like Gone with the wind
I will never go hungry again
You’re the national treasure of my soul
I’m on top of your sunset
Watching you swim the modest waterways
Your name unpredictable to many
I catch your shiny star to show support
A woman who loves stands by her man no matter what the cost
Intense is this love
Your sculpture enhances an azure sky with sleeping dragons
You run fingers through my short hair
I am your dawn
Your camelback ride to paradise
Your tropical smoothie
The mineral oil that boost your unruly locks
We run together towards the sunset
You’re not afraid to stand next to me
It seems natural
Such a magical place
Remember the Good Times?
Even the moments we skipped breakfast
Our bellies full of love
No probiotic needed
Just the fragrance of guava and cocoa butter
You leave birthmarks on the sand
My name written with your footprints
You want me to practice my French
That way I call your name when the sun sets
©2009 by Cathy Delaleu

9/24/09

Today was a good day. The sun was out and I was able to go for a nature walk. I treated myself at Barnes and Nobles, bought a journal, a vegeterian cooking book and poetry book by Nikki Giovanni. I was anxious, couldn't wait to get home to digest the poetry book and to write on my new journal. Expressing my thoughts is the best remedy, especially when you're dealing with an illness. Lately, i've been writing my little heart off with many poems...can't wait to work on the next book, it's about that time. In the evening, my mother came home and I showed her the cooking book, she fell in love with it and i suggested we try a new dish. We sure did. I chose to make asparagus soup...it was delish, thick, hot and flavorful. Mom loves to cook, so it was easy to convince to try something new for the palate.

SCARS

Check for scars
For bruises hidden beneath your thighs
Unfold the secret garden of your tongue
With east coast stories of subway rides
One metro card will lead you to a potential mate
That makes you salivate
Remember
Scars won’t disappear on their own
They’re reminders of past mistakes
Created with your heart
While you run helpless without any resources
In a stranger’s bosom
Where you expect eternal bliss
The wakeup call is usually apparent
You pretend not to notice the scars
Still lingering on your back and chest
You want them to disappear with your notepad in hand
The use of dental floss to scrape off guilt, lies, pain
Entangled with Sunday confessions
You will never heal with prayer alone
It remains to be seen
The rust you left behind in your mother’s womb
Is an investment
©2009 by Cathy Delaleu Writings

The power of writing has many consequences. It can reveal,inspire, destroy, elevate and sometimes it can be hurtful or brutal. Like some who consider suicide and leave their mark with an emotional letter, letting their loved ones know what caused them to end their life. I feel when you have that kind of gift to move people, it means all is not lost. God granted you these lovely hands and fingers for a reason.

The many challenges I had to face these past few months took a toll on my body. Yes, I did consider not to write in my blog and even allowed Mr. Writer's Block to take over. What made it worse is the ugly monster, I should say "my ugly demon" Lupus SLE (www.Lupus.org), came out of hiding again.

A year ago 2008, my life completely changed when Lupus paid me a nasty visit leaving me disfigured and I lost all the self-confidence I had in me. I was doing good in NY with a great job, my own apartment and many friends. But, sometimes you get a wake-up call...so I was unrecognizable physically and mentally, forget about emotionally. I felt not even a therapist can fully understand this illness.

I was diagnosed in 2007 and it's been a battle ever since. Yet, I'm blessed to wake up everyday with family and friends who show support. To understand this auto-immune disease, one must be very patient and non-judgemental. For example, people will look at you and think, "She's pretty,well, she don't act or look sick". Then, 3 months later, you're swollen all over, can't barely get out of bed and depression sets in. Your mind plays tricks on you, makes you believe no one gives a damn and you might as well die in your sleep.

Lupus SLE is not an easy illness to deal with cause in order to fight it, you must be mentally strong to do so and make yourself a list on how to be ahead of it. Lupus loves stress and depression, actually most Lupus sufferers are affected with joint issues due to stress. Also, Lupus loves it when you eat the wrong type of food, dairy and wheat will eventually send a Lupus SLE candidate to the hospital. I've been there more than once. Also, it does not tolerate excessive sun or cold winters. I live in 100 degrees AZ heat and i'm still struggling, but not as bad as when I lived in NY.

I was very hurt when a blogger friend told me of Nikki's passing. It's sad to hear such news, especially knowing she was so young. I'm sure sure Nikki wouldn't want us to dwell on her loss or illness. She was a great blogger, writer, feisty with her words. She would want us to remember her wonderful writing and beautiful personality. The more we do, the most we celebrate her life and her light will continue to shine. You can show your love by stopping by her blog (http://iniquitous1.blogspot.com), i'm sure her family would appreciate it. As for me, i'm taking it one day at a time with much prayer and meditation.

GRATEFUL DRUMROLL

1.Thankful for my mom who is a true believer of natural medicine and who is trying her hardest to make me feel better
2. The pouring rain that woke me up this morning and kept me smiling
3. Delicious salad I made for lunch and dinner
4. Jazz music which helps relax my body and mind
5. Phone call from friends who continue to show love and concern


NO ANSWERS

I can't tell you why we leave this earth
all I know is once we do
our footprints remain on the sheets we write on
we are never forgotten
family and friends will make sure of it

Hello all!!

It's been a wonderful, steamy summer so far
Can't stop counting the many blessings
Just got back from my busy NY trip where I held
my poetry/art show in Manhattan on 6/21/09
It was the 2nd annual Tavern of Creativity
It turned out to be very uplifting with the 9 poets
who read their work and the 3 artists who got to promote
their beautiful, unique art
Already, I am planning for next year's event
I want to thank all those who showed support and
those blogger friends I got to meet for the first time
More pics will be posted soon








BOAT PEOPLE - English as a second language
We are all on the same boat
The same one that cradled us far far away
from our native country
On that shriveled boat we see our land
Slowly disappears out of sight
Scent of earth and seashells evaporates
We dip fingers in the cold sea water
To bring back memories shed from our flesh
As we make it to shore
Our womb screams for home
The unfamiliar swallows our feet in the sand
Cruel destiny proposed by this foreign land
This foreign language
It is not home
It will never be home
It can never be home
No orange sun in sight to kiss the mountains at night
No smell of coffee beans or fresh patties in the morning
No rooster crowing
No children in school uniforms with their bright smiles
No church bells ringing our joy on Sundays
No seduction of acoustic guitars and drums
To swing our hips until the wee hours
In this foreign land we are too old to enjoy life
Too cold for sweet kisses on the cheek
Too vulnerable to protect the young generation
We are all on that same boat
Cradling with our dreams of a better Haiti
We cradle until there’s no life left in us
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for answers
We shall rise
Only if our dreams allow it
©2009 by Cathy Delaleu

Dear Diary

He glanced at me with a frown. "And what are you joyful about?"

"The sun is out and I feel no pain," I replied with a grin.

"So?"

"The flowers smiled at me, there's food in the fridge and I have no doctor appointments."

"What's the big deal?" He gave me a frustrated look.

"I'm alive and earth wants to hire me cause i'm grateful to be here."

"Then go, I have too much work to do, don't have time to be thankful for anything," he said.

Earth is hiring, apply now, he's not asking for much of your time. All he wants is for you to heal your soul with laughter, a simple smile or sweet gesture with nature, friends or family.


THE BEGINNING

The beginning is sweet
Like the first taste of strawberry sherbet
On a hot summer day
You can’t get enough
You want more to savor the palate

The beginning is a battlefield of rain and sun
Unpredictable
He turns it into a merry-go-round with his tongue
You contemplate the possibility
Of opening your heart without bleeding
Wondering if he will be the first Knight
To rescue you out of Brooklyn with his
Mighty sword
©2009 by Cathy Delaleu